Singing on the Streets of Baghdad

Written by Cameron before and during
April 2003 trip to Egypt, Jordan and Iraq.

For Kristina's Writing -- click here.

We will be returning to the Middle East in eight days. We feel called to

stay in touch with our brothers and sisters in the Arab world. As our

nation wages war we feel called to wage peace and will represent an

America that is rarely portrayed on TV screens. We wish to do all that we can to

cross the bridges of cultural understanding creating friendships and

connecting with the people of these countries through the power of their

beautiful music.

We are members of a gigantic global voice now. We the People insist upon

our rights to trade and build and worship and sing and dance on this

beautiful green jewel of a planet... we have always felt our psychic

connection and now our internet connections are giving us voices and

votes which can be counted and we come from every corner of the earth and we

say to the old heirarchical governments: "Leave us alone! We have lives to

lead! Get out of our way! We are the people and we are the singers and

the lovers and the cultivators! We will dismantle the treaties of


We will learn each others' languages and songs and a global democracy

can now emerge. Those who try to keep their power by instilling fear between

peoples can no longer succeed. We have sung and danced together in

hundreds of tribal manifestations... oh the songs... oh the dances... oh the

courtships... we are done with rule by fear!"

Arrived at airport in Cairo at 3:00 am tuesday... yes, worried... what will

I say to the 25 million Caireens...?

I tell the taxi dispatcher in the airport that I am feeling very badly

because my American government has chosen the path of attack...

He looks into my eyes: "Is that the way you really feel?" he asks...

"Yes," I respond.

"Then that is what shall determine your destiny, my friend!" he tells me

with a smile.

Soon we were in the cab, slowly meandering toward downtown, bathing in the

warm welcome from the driver and his friend... we paused in front of the

the hotel ($10/night) so that we could take turns playing my nay (middle

eastern reed flute) and sing another song together... These people know

that people are people... yes, our government is angering a huge piece (the

majority, I'm afraid) of the world... but that is the government... we are

the people...

Come on people! Let's remember to be our lusty beautiful selves... someday

the emerging global democracy will gently make obsolete the current

fear-based governments/protection racquets... we only have so many precious

lives to lead... we cannot afford this waste...

So, yes, we have been bathing in the warm welcoming extended to us

universally here... it is so easy if you just welcome yourself... then the

whole world welcomes you...

Climbing up into the hotel to find 8 or 9 men and a woman with her newborn

girl gathered to enjoy each others' company and ours... singing...

talking... 4 o'clock in the morning... ...the next day a full 12 hours on

the streets... bazaars... the Nile... the music shops... exotic essential

oils and aphrodisiacs... the restaurant with kanun (middle eastern zither)

and riq (tambourine) players... customers singing along...

I am the first of an army of American soldiers who have already lost...

We surrendered our hearts to Um Kolthoum, the most famous Egyptian

Goddess-singer, and now wander through the ecstatic alleyways of Cairo...

Wherever we go we want to be free to "try that to"... Eternal children of

the world, we become the singers when we hear the song...

...we become the acrobats when we see the dancing...

...we become the vendors when we see the selling...

...we become the cooks when we taste the cooking...

We are Americans we are Chinese...

We are Arabs and we are Turks...

...and we won't be be ruled by a bunch of jerks...

So it only took half an hour for my apprehension to dissolve into this warm

bath of hospitality...

Yesterday we made a dozen new friends on the streets and in the

marketplace... all that is necessary is to say "yes!"

We weave through endless mazes of people, carts and cars... a human soup as

thick as the richest stew... confidence in the human heart reflects on all

sides through this, one of the densest and tightest expressions of human

faith on planet earth: Cairo

And we tell them that thousands of our American friends back home are

sending the greeting through our hearts and songs... late last night

playing ouds (middle eastern lutes) in the shops on Mohammad Ali street...

We tell them that hundreds of our American friends are contributing to

support our ability to be here...

We tell them that dozens of our Arab-speaking friends back in America are

helping us dive more deeply into the songs and language and meanings of the

beautiful ancient cultures of the Arab world...

So there is no doubt, you see...

There is no hesitation about the opening of all of our hearts...

The eyes, as always, speak the truth... There is no fear...

We are truly blessed to be here...

And yes, every moment the war is hurting our hearts...

The woman claps her hands in front of her news-stand on the street corner

in time to the music... she is happy about something... The grandmother

hobbles through the traffic on bent legs, wincing from the pain, but still

a part of this celebration of buying and selling, coming and going, talking

and listening and feeling... never stopping twenty four seven...: CAIRO

Those of you who know these parts of the world share already in knowledge of

these things we report... But others, who have never traveled here, or who

were not ready to truly join this vast human celebration, need to receive this

news: forget fear and join us here where the ancient wisdom speaks so clearly.

A rich person is not she/he who has the most, but rather she/he who needs

the least...

From Cameron and Kristina in Cairo, Egypt:

Today we held our own demonstration in Tahrir Square, in the heart of

downtown Cairo, the same square being used by the thousands of Egyptians to

protest the war being waged by America, "the last surviving superpower."

We did not have an anti-war demonstration. We held a peace and music

demonstration. We didn't have to explain it, really...

The Egyptians immediately were thrilled to hear us singing their music and

we were surrounded by dozens of smiling, dancing, clapping young men and

women. We sang for an hour or more. Kristina danced with young Egyptian

women... and men... A 3-year-old boy danced exhuberantly in the center of

the crowd. The old woman with missing teeth pleaded for another verse from

Abd El Halim...

At this very same moment, not too far to the east, many people are dying in

Baghdad because of the incomprehensibly strange dreamworld inhabited by

certain "heads of state."

Really, the Egyptians, polite and accomodating as always, seem as

nonplussed, confused, shocked and, yes angry, as you might expect. I think

they live more in the moment, most of them, than we do. You don't see them

holding the same tensions in their bodies...

For the last few days we have been learning a musical prayer in arabic. We

sing this in reverence to the tragedy unfolding.... "T'ala al batru


It's not clear that reverance is more appropriate than boistrous


The crowd trades songs with us... many songs we do and don't know...

Rhythmic chants and beautiful love songs.

A journalist from an Arab-language newspaper approaches and asks our

opinions... translation happens haltingly... these are not the rich people,

well-trained in languages... these are the people who call downtown Cairo,

this "village" of 25 million people, home.

We are gradually, now that I have an oud and can play on the streets and in

the restaurants and schools, becoming known in our little downtown


This afternoon, thanks to our precious musical connections in friendship,

we spent several hours playing with teachers at the Cairo College of Music

across the Nile on the island of Zamalek... These musical professors say

that it is always the same: the people and the governments belong to

different species. We, the people, watch helplessly while the govenments

wreak destruction... ...we choose to play another classical piece of

music... we have kanun, nay, oud and, of course, our voices and Kristina's


Really, I feel sick inside...

Tonight the men on our street, yes from our little downtown Cairo

neighborhood, who now know us from our little hotel, invited us to sing and

play in the tavern on the corner... Our songs were highly appreciated and

we were rewarded with many more bottles of beer than we could possibly


"America is 10,000 miles away..." mused one man, showing some anger, "why

are they coming all the way over here to kill our (here he used "our" in

solidarity with Iraqi people) women and babies? No one in Iraq has attacked


He told Kristina that she must write a letter to Barbara Bush about this,

assuming, I suppose, that she could drive some sense into her husband's


Really, I must just hope now that the war ends quickly so that fewer human

souls are maimed and killed. But tonight I am reading things on the news on

the internet about the numbers of deaths which are making me lose another

level of hope... I guess we all we hoping that somehow these so-called

"smart bombs" could miss all human targets... but it is simply not the

case... I can't go on in this vein... you can read the news for yourselves.

What I can do is tell you that today in downtown Cairo, in Tahrir Square,

Cameron and Kristina were welcomed and told that we could consider Egypt to

be our home any time we should choose...

Really, that is one of the very touching things we were told... and yes, we

are telling the people that thousands of people in America do receive our

e-mail messages, such as this one, and that news of the sweet nature of

Arabic-speaking people is getting out.

One of the men whom we met tonight has a farm back in Kentucky... He lived

in America for 25 years, raising horses and frankincense... After 9/11 his

barn was set on fire. Broken-hearted he returned to Egypt... Will he ever

go back? ...he shakes his head...

Really: for so long these tragedies seemed like something awful that could

possibly happen and we chose to hold hope that somehow they could be

avoided... Well... today the unthinkable horrors of war are a living

breathing reality staring us in the face... What are we to make of the

decision-makers who led so many innocent people into this place? We really

must make our feelings know. The writing is on the wall.

I'm sorry, but America, as the last surviving superpower, had every

opportunity to set an example of leadership with something more holy than

"might making right" and the deployment of, yes, weapons of mass

destruction... Who is responsible for losing and wasting that opportunity?

Empires who choose to rule with the iron fist... their days become

numbered... please, Americans, wake up... the flesh on one body is not

worth more or less than the flesh on another...

PS: We passed our camera around to the crowd in Tahrir Square... god

willing, the camera worked and there will be photographs...

Dear Musical Mission Friends,

It feels, from closeup here in the Egyptian and Jordanian Arab world, like

we are in a whirlwind of a million changing thoughts and emotions.

The Arab world is shocked that Iraqis would actually welcome the Americans

and surrender so easily.

Thank God the war is winding down and the lives of American young men

and women and the lives of the Iraqi civilians and "soldiers" (soldiers are

all-to-obviously just people too) will no longer be in such danger.

Everyone has been wrong and everyone has been right. No matter which

"opinion" we have been holding, pages are turning and the emotionally

charged logics are becoming obsolete.

A gardener here in Aqaba today said to Kristina, "Of course I was against

the war, but now I see pictures on TV showing happy Iraqis, so I now I am

happy for them and hope only for the best!"

Yesterday, while the looting in Baghdad continued, our Egyptian taxi driver

expressed: "No one knows what will happen or who will do what. But the

people remain the people. For thousands of years we are simply trying to

live in peace while the leaders are unpredictable. No one can stop these

wars. The people, like you and me, are helpless."

And when we arrived into Jordan our taxi driver and another Jordanian

passenger didn't even try to analyze the world with these two American

mystery characters named Cameron and Kristina. Once they discovered that we

sing and play Arabic music, they wanted to sing, which we did, as usual.

With the bond of musical friendship established it felt, as always, like we

were part of the same family.

The page has turned. We must not remain stuck in obsolete viewpoints. The

forces toward healing the wounds in Iraq must proceed as rapidly as

possible. For this to be achieved, hatchets must be buried and new

alliances formed.

However mistrustful of the American government's motives for attacking

Saddam Hussein many of us may have felt, we must support cooperation and

growth. The old concepts of "good and evil" can, hopefully, dissolve. With

our united efforts and prayers we can move forward.

We have personally been creating friendships based on love through

music in both America and the Arab world, all the while knowing that our

Iraqi friends have been themselves divided about the merits of America's

attack on Saddam Hussein's rule: some seeing only evil in America's war and

others hoping for a quick American victory over Saddam's regime so that

things may begin again with a fresh start.

As I say, the page has now been turned. There has been a war and people

have been wounded and killed. It looks like it is about over. Those of us

who were not there can never know the exact feelings of those who were.

From here in Southern Jordan the latest Arabic comment to me today was:

"Six months from now things will be much better for the Iraqi people... We

will hope for this..."

And we just spent the last two hours down beside the waters of the Red Sea

here in the Gulf of Aqaba playing with thirty or forty dancing Arab and

Bedouin young people.

It all began when a tea vendor noticed my oud and invited us to play. We

played and sang. Before long we were taking turns playing my oud. There was

much singing and dancing. I played the nay (flute) along with many local

Bedouin melodies. Kristina and I were both pulled to our feet to dance. We

sang 4 or 5 popular songs and were treated to lots of free tea. We can send

photos later.

Whenever someone asked me where we were from and I replied "America," I

thought I detected a slight hesitation or look of astonishment before the

hospitable "you are welcome... welcome to Jordan...!" ...or maybe it was

just my own feeling of sadness that made me have this perception... I don't

know... anyway, we didn't discuss the Iraqi/American situation...

And, of course, now we must turn attention back toward sending work and

attention and prayers back toward the Palestinian situation. Relying on all

the old hatreds will not bring a better situation for the millions of

living souls involved. Fresh and open-minded work is desperately needed.

Tomorrow we will travel north to Amman and, hopefully, visit with Iraqi

friends there.

Complex allegiances surround us all:

When we visit our Arab friends, we offend some Americans and Persians and


When we visit our Turkish friends, we offend some Greeks, Armenians and


The list goes on and on...

Trying to live in this complex soup provides an opportunity for the most

sacred ways of being to float to the top.

Here are the latest results:

1) We should not indulge in humor at the expense of others. This creates a

way of thinking which eventually becomes an obstacle.

2) We should not create or play violent video or war games, nor watch

violent "entertainment." This contributes toward making this violence seem


3) We should never introduce violence of any sort into lovemaking. The

sacred connection between man and woman needs the fragrance and stillness

of a peaceful garden in order to manifest and deepen.

4) We should never believe in nor be convinced by the fears of others. Your

own trust in love and friendship is the only reality.

5) Trust the natural attractions that exist between us. Ignore efforts of

those who would have you feel guilty for accepting loving gestures from


6) Learn at least five languages in this lifetime. You will gain as many

souls. We live in a multi-colored garden and must learn to see beauty

through many ways of thinking and feeling and being.

7) Do not believe in "good" and "evil." We all contain each other. Through

an open heart we learn to include and understand everyone.

8) Do not pass up good opportunities. Whatever effort is required will be

transformed into ecstasy.

9) Do not give up.

10) You write this one... send it to me...


Sunday, April 13:

We arrive in Amman, the capitol of Jordan, by bus from Aqaba, a four or

five hour ride. Swarms of taxi drivers pounce onto us as we extract our

luggage from the bus. Kristina, offended at being treated like a newcomer,

fends them off and leads us out onto the street. "I feel like walking,

don't you?" she inquires.

We were here for several weeks not so long ago, back in November and

December. It feels like we need to reclaim our familiarity with the city by

walking through it. "Sure, let's walk," I respond.

We eventually find a familiar restaurant. We enter and ask the owner about

his birds: "They had an egg which hatched, but the poor little fellow died.

He didn't make it. But now they are busy making more eggs... this time,


This seems like the right place to pick up the thread from our previous

trip. Just before we had departed we had shared in his eager anticipation:

the parakeets in his cage had produced an egg and he was hoping for a baby


We dined on delicious food and made our way to the Al Saraya Hotel where we

were greeted affectionately by Fayaz al Kayali, the owner. Many of the

international motley brigade of Human Shields use this hotel. During the

next few days we sat in on their story-swapping and de-briefing sessions,

as they were just coming out of Iraq in considerable numbers. We began

becoming acquainted with 10 or 15 of them. The hotel staff of 8 or 10 local

Jordanian Arabs were eager for us to sing and play, so we brought the oud

and sang for a couple of hours with them downstairs.

Monday, April 14:

Still settling into Amman and the hotel, we do a few errands, call our

Iraqi friends, talk further with various Human Shields and yield to local

pressure to once again spend the evening playing Arabic music in the hotel.

Tuesday, April 15:

My birthday... Kristina buys a piece of cake for me in a little restaurant

to finalize our roasted chicken and rice meal.

We visit the Monzer Hotel across town where members of Voices in the

Wilderness congregate. I had met Kathy Kelly, founder of VITW there last

December and she had attempted to help us get into Iraq a few months

earlier. We had been invited by the Baghdad Musicians' Association, but

Saddam Hussein's government kept us out, denying our visas.

Not everyone understands or sympathizes with our attempts to bridge

cultural differences by reaching out and learning the other culture's

popular music so that we can enjoy and feel something sweet and visceral

together. The politicians understand political or military approaches. The

anti-war activists understand marches, demonstrations, sit-ins, civil

disobedience, information publication and petitions. Only the lovers on the

streets of the world understand what we are doing. Even then, it is not

something understood so easily with the mind as with the heart.

We meet Nassim, who helps run the Monzer Hotel, and he offers to set up a

car with a driver to deliver us to Baghdad, 500 miles away, for a

reasonable price: something only a quarter the cost of what the high-end

journalists have been paying. Our imaginations are sparked. We had not

expected to make it into Baghdad with the war going on, but now it seems

that the US Marines have occupied the city and fighting and bombing is

tapering off...

We tell Nassim we will be thinking about this possibility.

We head back to our own hotel to meet one of the would-be Human Shields who

arrived too late to make it into Baghdad before the bombing began: Stefa, a

Canadian woman who had never been an activist in her life but who had felt

driven by the apparent violations of international and human decency by her

dear neighbor to the south to suddenly purchase a ticket to Amman to "chain

herself to a power plant" in Iraq and try and save something. Failing in

her desire to get into Iraq, she had stayed at the hotel in Amman and

worked on behalf of the Human Shields who were in and around Baghdad.

Stefa had invited us to go with her and a Palestinian Christian/Jordanian

friend to hear a house concert of a young female singer accompanied by an

oud player who specialized in Lebanese styles.

Fawaz picked us up from the hotel. We were joined by Ibair, a woman who is

one of the top fashion designers in Jordan. We were in the company of the

upper class now, it seemed. Fawaz had been detained, or kidnapped, and held

incommunicado during the first few weeks of the war and had just been

released. I don't know why exactly. He had been active in trying to have

the sanctions against Iraq lifted for many years.

He and Ibair returned to our hotel after the concert and sat in on a major

debriefing of the Human Shields. I say "debriefing." I mean a story

swapping session punctuated with a lot of "well, what should we do now


We listened to the story told by David Lynn, an American Human Shield who,

after being a soldier in Viet Nam, eventually turned his energies to

anti-war activities. He, along with all the other Human Shields we have

talked with, denies that they were ever, as claimed by the media, requested

by Saddam's regime to go to certain locations. He was in a location in

northern Baghdad which was one of the last portions of the city to be taken

by the US Marines. Deciding at some point to go out on his own and see what

was happening, he walked some 15 kilometers through the northern parts of

the city. What he saw was the dead bodies of many civilians who had been

shot while walking or driving. Afraid to leave the shelter of their houses,

their families were just now emerging to bury these bodies which had lain

out in the sun for several days now. David witnessed these burials now

taking place, in spite of being shot at several times himself. What is

obvious is that there is no record-keeping involved.

When we did spend time in Baghdad ourselves a few days later, we saw

Marines for the most part trying to be polite, but we also witnessed about

three instances of Marines brandishing weapons and shouting things like:

"Move that fucking truck and move it quick, asshole!" ...this screamed in

English at uncomprehending civilians... Other Marines went out of their way

to say "Salaam we Aleikum" to Iraqis passing through their checkpoints,

through some of which we also needed to pass.

Fawaz and Ibair stayed at our hotel to listen for an hour or two and then

took their leave. We had thought perhaps to play music, but on this night

the discussions were paramount.

Wednesday, April 16th:

Up at 8:00 a.m., we speed over to the Ministry of the Interior, as Nassim

had suggested, to try and gain papers from the Jordanian government to be

allowed into Iraq. After the fall of Saddam's government, the Jordanians

instituted a policy of allowing only journalists to pass the border. We

are, in some sense, journalists, but we don't have official press cards.

The Ministry of the Interior refers us to the Press room at the

Inter-Continental Hotel. Instead of presenting press cards, we present an

introduction written in Arabic, which has been gradually evolving with the

help of several Arabic friends. The Jordanian officials read this, look at

us inquisitively... we sing them a piece of a song in Arabic, they smile

broadly and arrange a contact for us at the border so that we will be given

permission to pass into Iraq.

We head back to the hotel to meet Stefa. She has invited us to go with her

to meet Aida and her friend Sonia. Aida is a wealthy Jordanian peace

activist. She picks us up in her friend Sonia’s car and we head for a

bookshop, Books@Café, which contains a little restaurant. Once seated she

brings out an Arabic newspaper which contains the news that the Human

Shields organization had been infiltrated by the CIA who, according to this

article, worked inside Iraq to pay off the Republican Guard so they

wouldn’t put up a fight. The belief now is that Saddam and his high echelon

of family and ministers arranged a secret surrender with the CIA and were

whisked out of the country to some safe haven… There are various versions

of this story, I’m sure, but the point which Aida is trying to make to

Stefa is that being associated with the Human Shields is no longer an

honorable thing in the Arab street. It is now a suspect thing.

I congratulate myself privately on my decision to never associate myself

with any organization or government.

We stop by the Monzer Hotel and tell Nassim that the plan to enter Iraq is

a go: we have arranged to be permitted by the Jordanians to cross the


Evening comes and we take a taxi across town to meet with our Iraqi refugee

friends Ali, Su’ad, Haydar and Ahmed. We had spent several days living with

them in November and December and were very anxious to see them. Ali,

Su’ad’s eldest son, has been struggling to support them all with his

computer skills. One way or another they are surviving, but at the moment

Ali can only afford to pay enough phone bill to allow computer

communication; he can’t call out on his phone. But we could call him. Ali

follows a fairly strict set of Islamic rules. He doesn’t like to accept

help from us either, as this seems to offend his pride. We had to read the

ingredients on the box of chocolates we had brought for his mother to make

certain that there was no brandy and no pork fat in the chocolate. He

eventually allowed his mother to accept the gift.

Later, Kristina presented his mother with a gold bracelet, a gift we had

carefully calculated to be a way for us to get some form of money to them,

to help them just in case of emergency. Ali immediately announced that they

would not accept the present.

“It’s not for you!” I told him, laughing at his stubborness. “It is for


That seemed to settle the issue and Kristina’s gift to Su’ad became a


They returned a gift to us: a series of psychic readings from Su’ad which

addressed all our plans and ambitions as well as the outlook for all our


Su’ad had inherited a collection of seashells and other objects, like old

doorkeys and other relics from their family’s past, from her mother. And

she inherited the psychic gift, we are told, also from her mother.

The next two hours were spent with Su’ad tossing this double handful of

relics into the air over a cloth and then reading their positions as they

landed. Ali translated from the Arabic to the English, a skill he has

mastered to a high degree.

Several times they looked into our plan to enter Baghdad by interpreting

these shells and could see only failure of this plan. Even death could come

to us if we were to try and make this trip. But the outlooks for all of our

children seemed quite good, although information about their past and

current struggles seemed quite accurate.

Leaving to return to our hotel at 2:30 a.m., we found a long walk awaiting

us in the cold, as there were no taxis in sight in that part of town.

Eventually we reached a larger avenue and found a cab for the rest of the


I lay awake until 7:00 a.m. digesting the various aspects of Su’ad’s

reading. Parts of it seemed to come clearly and other parts, including the

dire predictions about our trip to Baghdad, seemed to come from their

background and angle on reality.

Thursday, April 17:

After one hour of semi-sleep, I rose from bed to begin a busy day preparing

for the trip to Baghdad: we had to carry our own water and food and be

prepared to pay for things with small bills of US Dollars. We spent part of

the afternoon with Nassim at the Monzer Hotel discussion all of the

arrangements regarding our driver. Only Iraqi drivers would be allowed into

Iraq. And these Iraqi drivers and their vehicles were only allowed to enter

and park in one place in Amman. We communicated our arrangement made at the

press room in the Inter-Continental Hotel. We were to arrive to Ar

Ruwasheid, the last small town before the Iraqi border, and find a certain

man named Mahjed at the Shat el Arab Hotel, provide extra passport photos,

and there be given some kind of visa permitting us entry to Iraq.

We were able to contact Mahjed on Nassim’s cell phone, and he assured us

that he knew who we were from Maha at the Inter-Continental Hotel, and that

there would be no problem. The only thing was that he might not be there,

in which case we were to find his brother, Ali.

Nassim introduced us to our driver’s brother, a large man who assured us

that everything would be fine.

We returned to the streets to finish the errands of preparation for the

trip. We needed white cloth so that we would be able to wave white flags of

truce toward the US Marines if necessary. And we needed orange tape to put

large letters on the car saying “PRESS” and “TV” so that we would not be

suspected of being some kind of smugglers or infiltrators. We told Nassim

to have the Iraqi driver take care of that part, as we didn’t have a ready

source for the orange tape. Nassim had told us to call him at 10:00 p.m.

and find out where to meet our car and driver. He said we would be part of

an armed caravan, departing early the following morning from the Iraqi

border to travel together under protection of the US Marines through the

lawless and bandit-filled 300 miles of the western desert of Iraq. I asked

Kristina if she was certain she wanted to make this trip with me. “It seems

to be our path,” she replied with no hesitation.

All the years I had spent travelling through the low-rent districts of

south america, finding delightfully friendly folks around every corner, in

spite of the repeated warnings from wealthy people and rival tribes that

“surely I would be killed if I went there”, came together to give me clear

confidence now.

Armed with my musical instrument (my oud) and a handful of heartfully

memorized Arabic songs, we would sing with the people on the streets of

Baghdad, making our American nationality known and trusting in the music

and the basic goodness of the common man.

Calling from our hotel at 10:00 p.m., after scrambling for the rest of the

evening with preparations, Nassim told us to hurry and come over to the

Monzer Hotel; that he would accompany us to the Iraqi car and driver from


Friday, April 18th:

By 12:30 a.m., we were headed out of Amman toward Iraq with Imad, our

expansive, energetic and basically mono-lingual driver. I shifted all

(still not much) of my knowledge of Arabic into the front of my brain and

began getting to know him. Basic sentences take me a long time and a lot of

brain strain to find ways to use my limited vocabulary as creatively as


Imad seemed friendly and alert. He took turns initiating basic

conversations with me and Kristina: how old are you…? He was 29. He has a

wife, but no children. “God’s will,” he explained, adding that he had been

to the doctor but either he or his wife was infertile. He seemed obviously

quite sad about this.

After about 3 hours we arrived to Ar Ruwasheid, found the Shat el Arab

Hotel, and pounded on the doors to no avail. We found someone with a cell

phone and tried the phone numbers. The two brothers had their phones turned

off and were sleeping, we supposed. It was 4:00 a.m. Determining to wait

for another hour or so, we thought to maybe grab a nap in the parked car.

Suddenly a large German nurse appeared, in the middle of some

misunderstanding with her Jordanian drivers. I don’t think she was aware

that only Iraqi drivers were being allowed to cross into Iraq. She was very

upset and hoping that she could ride with us, although she still didn’t

have her visa. Imad quickly concluded that she was insane: “majnoon!” There

seemed no way to work things out with this big angry nurse, so Imad sped

off into the night toward the Iraqi border.

“No wait!” we told him. “We must find one of the brothers and get our


But Imad had decided to proceed. “We’ll miss the armed convoy if we don’t

go now,” he said.

Unable to convince him otherwise, we sped the last 50 miles to the border,

where we entered into a tangled mass of Jordanian officials in various

offices and behind various windows.

We would not be allowed entry without press cards… Signs on the walls

proclaimed in both Arabic and English: “The highway in Iraq is

exceptionally dangerous. Jordan does not recommend travelling.”

We produced our explanation about our musical mission written in Arabic

and, when they looked at us, we sang snatches of Arabic songs. Stunned,

delighted and amazed, the stamps in our passports miraculously appeared.

Imad had done a good job, also, of leading us from one official to another,

although at one point her had seemed ready to give up. It seemed to cost a

little more that we expected also… who’s pocketing the extra change? Imad?

One of these officials? Both? But later, back in Amman, Nassim said that he

had told us to expect to pay that exact amount for our visas…

No matter… After two hours of “negotiating”, we were speeding across no

man’s land toward Iraq. “Enough with the Jordanians!” exclaimed Imad. “I

don’t like them!”

We approached a checkpoint manned by US Marines. Imad, the ultimate

horn-honking, aggressive taxi driver, tried to nose his way into the front

of two lines of cars waiting to be checked by the Marines. “No, Imad,” we

told him, “this is not going to work with these guys…”

Soon we were escorted back to the beginning of the lines and made to wait

our turn.

“Americans, huh…” the Marine checking our passports muttered… “you guys

must be crazy…”

Soon we were speeding down a divided highway made of concrete with metal

guard rails between the lanes headed toward Baghdad. Iraq obviously had, at

one time, had money to spend on highways much fancier than anything we had

seen in Jordan. But soon we were weaving around bomb craters punched into

the concrete and passing the burnt husks of trucks and buses and cars and


Imad winced with pain as we passed each one. “And that bus there,” he

explained, “was not even Iraqi… it was from Syria!” he exclaimed.

We had read about the bombing of a Syrian bus in which several Russian

diplomats died, along with 10 or so other passengers.

We covered two or three hundred miles and passed the Euphrates river. Palm

trees began to appear as water became part of the landscape. We passed

clusters of burnt, overturned or abandoned Iraqi tanks, and more bombed

trucks, buses and cars.

Other car and truck frames which had not been burnt were periodically

visible beside the highway. “Ali Baba! Ali Baba!” exclaimed Imad.

Eventually we realized that the looting which has been publicized in

Baghdad, extended out onto the highways. If your car runs out of gas here,

or otherwise becomes inoperable, and you have to leave it, when you come

back you will find all its working parts stripped and gone.

Baghdad is Burning.

"Ali Baba!" screams Imad and points at the mobs of looters, thick on the

streets and at their work as we wind into central Baghdad. We detour around

the edges of what the press called "the biggest anti-American demonstration


Imad, our driver, who has brought us all 500 miles of the way here from

Amman, slips at high speed through the smoke-filled intersections. No

electricity means no traffic lights. No government means no laws. Drivers

make up their own rules. Imad makes up for the loss of order by leaning on

the horn.

Six or eight of the nearby highrise buildings have flames leaping out of

their windows. No water means no putting out these fires. Who is torching

this city? Why? We find the last unoccupied room in the Al Fonar hotel,

carry our packs, food and water through a US marines checkpoint, into our

room and head out into the city, oud in hand. Within 25 yards of the coils

of US marine razor wire, a group of Iraqis point at my oud as ask for us to

play. I begin playing Um Kolthoum... "No, no!," they shout, "Saddam Hussein

taught us not to like Um Kolthoum." I pass the oud to one of them who plays

a taqasim (improvisation) in the style, it sounds like to me, of Farid al

Atresh... Then it's my turn again. I begin with a famous vocal and oud

mawal (introduction) written by Iraqi composer Mohammed Al-Gobbanchi and

made more famous by Syrian singer Sabah Fakri. This hits the perfect note, it

seems, with the crowd; eyes close, heads bob and shake with appreciation... A

conservative man in a tan galibiya (traditional arab gown) approaches:

"Since you are Americans, I would like to send a message to Bush with you:

the Americans must leave! We will build a new government ourselves!

Government coming from the outside... we will kill them!" Meanwhile, a few

feet away, two men are telling Kristina the opposite message: "We are

thankful to Bush for ridding us of Saddam Hussein." An excited young man

approaches and introduces himself as the author of a book about Arabic

musical scales (maqamat from Iraq) and very enthusiastically offers to take

us to a music school to meet a great master oud player whom he respects. He

is apparently oblivious to the fact that the city around us is in flames...

We pass by the Tigris river thinking there might be a nice spot for more

singing there, but the marines are using the park beside the river for a


Returning toward the main streets, we come to the circle where the whole

world watched on TV as marines used a tank to help Iraqis pull over a huge

statue of Saddam. A man driving by in his car spots the oud and inquires if

we play it: "Yes, we are Americans who love Arabic music and who play the

oud and sing," I tell him. He parks his car and we begin singing for him

and others who randomly approach. The pedestal with fragments of Saddam's

demolished statue stands in the background as we sing Abd el Halim's

"Sawah," a song about a man who is missing his lover as he walks for days

and weeks like a stranger in a strange land... As I sing, I scan the

eyeballs in the crowd... they are so happy to see us singing... we announce

several times, as people inquire, that we are Americans who love Arabic

music. Some of the eyes are uncertain at first, but not for long as people

melt into the songs and join in the singing. The man with the car says he

plays the oud also and is anxious to take us with him in his car to his

house to play music. He, too, seems to find his encounter with us more

important than the fact that the city is in flames. It takes 5 or 6 polite

declinations from us to postpone this offer until another time. I add his

phone number to my list of musicians to contact in the future... Hundreds

of international journalists throng the spaces around the Palestine and

Ishtar hotels, both nearby. They peer out from the rooftops with the latest

high tech portable video gear. Grim-faced and red-eyed, they go about their

story writing with cigarettes lit, adding to the smoke...

We just proved, to my own satisfaction at least, that America could have

invaded Iraq with battalions of our own citizens trained to play ouds and

sing just a few songs in Arabic. But the journalists, for the most part

anyway, don't seem to be interested in covering anything that doesn't come

wrapped in violence.

At this point, as I later calculated, I had enjoyed only one hour of sleep

in the last fifty-seven. Feeling more and more groggy with exhaustion, I

suggest taking a break in the hotel room. Kristina is eager to continue.

She asks a Marine behind the hotel if we could interview him. “Not while

I’m on post,” he replies. “But if you go down this street, there is a

little place for coffee where Marines hang out… but I don’t know if I’d

recommend it… we’ve got snipers on the roofs of all these hotels…”

We are searched by other Marines before being allowed to proceed. We ask

for the location of this coffee shop and a higher-ranking Marine says, “You

mean one of my men suggested this? He should not have. Which one is he?”

“I don’t remember,” replies Kristina, not wanting to get anyone in trouble.

We proceed through coils of razor wire down the street, but are told we

cannot go toward the “coffee shop.”

Leaving the area cordoned off by the Marines, we re-enter the city and find

a restaurant which, surprisingly, is open and we eat some chicken and rice.

“What snipers do you suppose he was referring to? I asked Kristina.

“Well, Iraqi snipers, I assumed…” she replied.

“I thought maybe he meant Marine snipers…” I suggested. We didn’t have a

clear idea.

We wander back toward the hotel. I’m more and more groggy with exhaustion.

We hear what sounds like a gunshot. Kristina backs behind a concrete wall

away from the center of the street. I doesn’t occur to me to worry, for

some reason, but I back into the more protected area also. No one out on

the street seems to pay any attention, so we continue walking.

We enter our room. I lie down on the bed and pass out for two hours.

Opening my eyes in the late afternoon I announce to Kristina that I am

ready to go back out… But now she is feeling worse. The smoke from the

burning city is making her sick at her stomach and giving her a bad


The hotel we are staying at is also used by people from Voices in the

Wilderness, an organization founded by Kathy Kelly, whom, as I mentioned, I

had met in Amman back in December. The purpose of VITW was to witness and

report from inside Iraq about the effects of the sanctions and the war on

the lives of Iraqi people. Kathy had been here in this Al Fonar Hotel with

a few other VITW members for the last two months or so and had, like the

Human Shields, been unwilling to leave when the bombing started. She is an

activist with a track record of having succeeded in walking the fine line

required by Saddam Hussein’s government to be allowed entry, although they

had had to live under constant surveillance by their Iraqi “minders” in

order to do their reporting. They had deliberately tried to avoid

association with the title “human shield.” But there are now fines being

imposed on her and her organization by the US government, so she is

disbanding the organization known as Voices in the Wilderness.

We accepted an opportunity to ride back to Jordan in a car with her and

another VITW member, Kathy Breen and a French surgeon who had been in

Baghdad during the last month.

Saturday, April 19th:

We leave Baghdad with Sattar, a good friend of Kathy’s, as the driver at

about 9:00 a.m.

Once again, we wind our way out through the burned and looted sections.

Today there seem to be fewer flames leaping out of the tall high-rise

buildings. The smoke is clearing a little bit. As we exit the city center,

Kristina begins to recover from her night of vomiting from the exposure to

the smoke.

We learn from Jaques, the French surgeon, that he had volunteered to be

here for the last month, since the bombing began, and had worked in a small

hospital every day staffed by Iraqis who had welcomed his help. He said he

had performed 72 surgeries himself and assisted with countless others. At

the most intense time, he said, they received 150 wounded Iraqis a day for

3 days in a row. I told him how much I admired his work. He seemed like a

tough little guy with tremendous dedication. He had come to Baghdad from a

stint of surgical work in Africa in Ivory Coast, another war-torn country.

Kathy Breen, a nurse, had worked and lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia for 10

years, and Germany for 6 years. I sang her a song from Cochabamba which I

remembered from my years travelling in the Andean world.

And Kristina and I sang Arabic music with Sattar.

When we arrived back at the Jordanian border, the police there smiled and

requested more songs from us again. We obliged and their smiles broadened


Sunday, April 20th:


Monday, April 21:


Evening spent visiting Ali, Su'aad, Haydar, Ahmed.

Su'aad cooks fabulous dinner for us. We discuss the readings from the

shells which had predicted that we would not go to Baghdad. We agree that

the reading had been close, perhaps meaning that our trip to Baghdad would

be difficult. In reality, the reading had seemed quite accurate about our

children and other family members.

Ali's English is really quite good. Haydar's is better than we had realized


We show them our photos from Baghdad. We discuss the question of who it is

that is setting all the fires. Haydar agrees that the best guess is that

the looters, many of whom are very poor and very young, just get carried

away with the destruction and, after looting, light the place on fire. At

this point it doesn't seem that they have any plans to ever return to Iraq.

Many stories about their family lives: the little 4-yr-old girl now

promised in marriage to "Yamudi" (Ahmed)... Ali's near death experience at

birth and feeling of never having been welcomed... The family trend of

having firstborns be girls... Su'aad's disappointment at never having a

baby girl... hence all the photos of baby Haydar dressed as a girl...

Su'aad gives Kristina a vest made (beaded) by a favorite aunt... and


We will see them next trip, whenever that is... insha'allah...

Tuesday, April 22:

Send stories to Ariana. Visit Jihad's music store... learn maqam...

Talk with Stefa at hotel... tomorrow: back to Cairo...

After a month in the Middle East: Cairo, Amman, Baghdad, Amman, Cairo...

We have sung popular Arabic songs in the hearts of all these cities in the

streets with whatever people happened to be there.

All we are saying is Leave the TV, come back to the People... take the time

to learn a song in a foreign language... go there... there is nothing to

fear... forget the politicians and the "experts"... we have everything we

need already: just ourselves and our smiles and our songs...

Cameron writes:

I give up...

The horror of death and war washes past and nothing is solved.

The wounds will last forever, but I cannot hold any attitude... the giant

Nations and Armies and Religions yield to the magnifying glass:

we are all nothing but PEOPLE... with individual faces, ears and noses and


the democrats...

the republicans...

the kurds...

the turks...

the shi'ites...

the sunni...

the human shields...

the palestinian christians...

the palestinian moslems...

the jews...

the anti-war activists...

the israelis...

the jordanians...

the hashemites...

the egyptians...

the iraqis...

the coptic christians...

the us marines...

the beggars...

the saudis...

the americans...

the germans...

the french...

the rich...

the poor...

the looters...

the republican guard...

the kuwaitis...

the voices in the wilderness...

the rednecks...

the south africans...

the iranians...

the bedouins...

the british...

the australians...

the canadians...

In the past few weeks I have heard something bad about each one of

the above...

I have also looked into the eyes of each of these...

I've seen suffering in each...

I've seen fear...

I've seen joy...

I've heard each one maligning another...

Where do we stop?

Are we seriously supposed to choose sides between all of these?

I give up... I represent no side... And I will sing...


Saturday, April 26, 2003:

Dissolving out of Egypt, out of Jordan, out of Iraq...

What is the meaning of "Cameron and Kristina go to Baghdad"?

Cameron and Krisina: First American musicians to play Arabic music in

Baghdad after the fall of Saddam Hussein! ...does this mean something?

Are we part of the "mop up" operation which follows invasion by the US

Marines? this the meaning?

I know! It's about Fear: don't be afraid to trust your own reality...

this the meaning?

I remember our train ride yesterday to Maadi, in southern Cairo yesterday.

We were surrounded by women and children giggling and laughing

uncontrollably all around us. We talked with them with our limited Arabic

and English abilities... the men in the railroad car broke into beaming

smiles and laughed and laughed... I know the meaning of all this: Egyptians

are in a permanently good mood! I remember our-flute playing friend Kadry

shrugging off the painful memories of his open-heart surgery with laughter.

The children playing in the dusty streets outside his small house in Maadi

were laughing uncontrollably...

But what does this have to do with Baghdad? Inside Kadry's living room we

showed him and his daughters photos from Baghdad... What meaning does this


Soon we will be back in America. What will the meaning be there?

The further away you are from some place, the more the things which are

happening there are seen symbolically.

Cameron and Kristina enter Iraq. So what?

We watch the Egyptian man who lived in Baghdad for ten years burst into

tears when we show him our photos from Iraq... Why did we go there and sing

with the Iraqis on the streets of Baghdad? help this man have his


It is the fighting, death and destruction: the war which creates the tears.

It is the maps which create the wars. It is modern technology which creates

the lines on the maps. In the old days the lines were more fluid... empires

were more like lakes... and they left puddles behind when they receded...

These lines in the middle east which define the edges of Jordan, Iraq,

Saudi Arabia... they were drawn by the British after World War I... no

wonder they are in the wrong places... and puddles are no longer allowed! the lines must need serious adjustment... the politicians must

create serious arguments with serious symbolic meanings so that new lines

can be drawn...

Asking the question: "What does this mean?" is a violent action with

potentially violent consequences... Meanings, like national borders and

boundaries, are traps.

Meaning gives birth to "right and wrong."

As soon and there is "right and wrong," there can be suspicion and mistrust.

Cameron and Kristina enter Baghdad. Previously sacred lines have been


This means everything and it means nothing.

As soon as something is seen as "sacred," the possibility of "violation"

arises... parking meters: here is a spot beside the road which

means nothing. It is totally empty, except maybe for a tulip or something.

Then comes the parking meter.

Now we have a sacred spot. Violation is now possible.

This is the same with Jordan and Iraq: with Saddam Hussein in power,

Cameron and Kristina could go to Jordan. But stepping over the line into

Iraq to play Arabic music was not possible. We tried and failed.

Now Saddam is gone and his meanings are gone.

Cameron and Kristina still had to sing their way through the Jordanian

police: three times, to three different groups of police, in order to

obtain visas to the no-man's land called Iraq.

But now they are not a violation inside of Iraq.

We can celebrate this new freedom! But don't turn on your TV or you will

see new fighting about to happen as the map-makers: the religious fanatics,

the global power and oil brokers, whose very existence depends upon their

being walking symbols of cultural belief systems, line up to define new

boundaries and create the roadmaps for new violations.

Sleep is good. It gives us a rest and it gives us the chance to go to bed

in one place and wake up in another! All the meaningful energy we

accumulated yesterday somehow dissolved in the night and we woke up in a

new land this morning! Different scenery! Different borders! All because

one mood dissolved and another was born! Now we can get out of the same bed

but go on a completely different adventure!

We wouldn't have gotten across the border between Jordan and Iraq without

our ability to sing in Arabic on cue: twice at the border, where only

reporters with press cards were being allowed to cross, the stern faces of

uniformed Jordanian military police melted as we began to sing Daret el

Ayam. Imad, our driver, ever the go-getter at the front of every line, also

helped pilot our way through the swimming sea of Middle Eastern red tape.

Instead of a visa, we offered a flyer in Arabic, composed through the joint

efforts of many Arab friends, which explains our Musical Mission.

Watching the crowds of Arab men and women work things out as they come up:

the dilemas of passports and paperwork, the fixing of the broken bus

engine... we can't help but admire the immediacy of the attack.

Communication happens from the insides of the common thought bubbles...

It's like telepathy: everyone already knows exactly what the subject at

hand is. No one wastes time trying to redefine it. No one wastes time

trying to determine who is qualified to address the issue. Everyone is

qualified. It is a high speed theater, with everybody using full body

language and vocal drama to act out different sides.... When a consensus is

reached, it is not ever even stated: everyone simply knows what it is. Then

the nexd problem on the agenda is immediately addressed while some silent

activity rapidly accomplishes the paperwork necessary to implement the last


The European/American way is very very different: no vocal pyrotechnics, no

impulsive hody language. Decisions will be made sometime in the future by

some "experts" qualified by their abilities to dodge the current subject

matter and replace that with some historical analysis.